I've made every mistake in the GF parenting handbook. Here are my most mortifying moments and what they taught me - so maybe you can avoid at least some of this.
I've been doing this gluten-free parenting thing for almost 5 years now.
You know what that means? I've had 5 years to completely screw things up in ways I never imagined.
Nobody tells you about the embarrassing parts. The blogs all make it sound so... manageable. Like you just read some labels and pack some snacks and boom, you're a GF parenting superhero.
That's not real life. Real life is messy and awkward and sometimes you cry in the Whole Foods parking lot.
Here are my most mortifying moments. Maybe you'll feel better about yours. Or maybe you'll learn from my mistakes and avoid at least a few of them.
The Birthday Party Disaster (Month 2)
My daughter got invited to her first birthday party after diagnosis.
I was so worried about her feeling left out that I made GF cupcakes to bring. Like, from scratch. I barely bake, but I thought I needed to be Pinterest Mom for this.
What I did wrong: I brought 24 cupcakes. For a party of 12 kids.
What happened: The birthday girl's mom was like "oh... you brought cupcakes." In that tone. You know the one.
Turns out she'd already ordered GF cupcakes from a bakery specifically so my daughter wouldn't feel left out. She'd texted me about it but I never saw it (it went to my spam folder or something).
So now there were 48 cupcakes for 12 kids. My cupcakes looked homemade and sad next to the professional bakery ones. Every kid ate the bakery cupcakes. Nobody touched mine except my daughter, who ate one to be nice and then whispered "Mom, yours are dry."
What I learned:
- Read your texts
- Communicate with the host BEFORE making 24 sad cupcakes
- Just bring a safe option for your kid, not for the whole party
- My daughter is hilarious and honest
Now I always text the party host and ask what they're planning. Usually they've already thought about it. And if not, I just bring something small for my kid.
The Restaurant Meltdown (Month 4)
We went out to eat for my birthday. I'd called ahead, asked about GF options, they said they had them.
Got there, asked the waiter about GF pasta. He said "oh yeah, no problem."
My daughter's food came out. Regular pasta. I could tell immediately.
What I did wrong: Instead of calmly sending it back, I KIND OF LOST IT.
Not like screaming. But I definitely said "This could put her in the hospital" loud enough that other tables turned around.
The waiter looked terrified. The manager came over. I started crying (stress + birthday + celiac = emotional disaster).
My daughter was mortified. My husband was trying to calm everyone down. The couple next to us moved tables.
What happened: They comped our entire meal and the manager personally made sure the GF pasta was prepared correctly in a clean pan.
What I learned:
- I was right to send it back, wrong about the delivery
- Waiters make mistakes - they're not trying to hurt my kid
- "I'm sorry, this appears to be regular pasta. We need gluten-free" works better than panic
- My daughter now has a story she tells about "that time mom cried at the restaurant"
Now I say it nicely the first time. If they mess up twice, THEN I can panic. (Hasn't happened yet.)
The School Lunch Fail (Month 6)
I packed my daughter lunch in reused deli containers from the grocery store.
You know, the ones that originally had regular pasta salad or whatever.
What I didn't realize: Those containers are POROUS. They absorb and keep gluten.
What happened: She kept getting stomach aches after school lunch. For weeks. I couldn't figure out why.
Finally mentioned it to another celiac mom who was like "...what do you pack her lunch in?"
Showed her a picture. She actually gasped. "Those containers aren't safe!"
I'd been cross-contaminating my daughter's lunch EVERY DAY for months.
What I learned:
- Don't reuse containers that had gluten food
- Porous plastic is the enemy
- Glass is better (but heavier for little kids)
- I felt like the worst mom ever for like 3 weeks
Threw out all our food containers. Bought new glass ones with the GF label on them in sharpie. Problem solved but the guilt lasted way longer.
The Grandma Incident (Month 8)
My mom means well. She really does.
But she kept saying things like "a little bit won't hurt" and "kids are too restricted these days."
I tried explaining celiac, showed her articles, everything.
Then she babysat one day and gave my daughter "just one cookie" because "she was so sad about not having treats."
What happened: My daughter was sick for a week. Like, really sick. We almost took her to the ER.
The confrontation: I called my mom and... I wasn't nice. Said some things I regret about her not respecting boundaries.
She cried. I cried. My daughter was miserable and caught in the middle.
What I learned:
- Some people don't get it until they SEE the consequences
- I should have set harder boundaries earlier
- Being angry is fair, but I could've communicated better
- My mom now takes it seriously (took seeing my daughter sick though)
Now grandma has a laminated list on her fridge of what's safe. And she texts me before giving my daughter anything new. Took a crisis to get there, but we got there.
The Halloween Candy Situation (Year 2)
My son went trick-or-treating. He's 6 and wanted to go SO BAD.
I had this plan where he'd collect candy and we'd trade it for GF candy at home.
What I forgot: He's 6. Six-year-olds don't have that kind of delayed gratification.
What happened: He ate a Snickers bar before we got home. Just unwrapped it and ate it while walking.
By the time I noticed, it was too late. I snatched the wrapper from him and completely panicked.
Called the nurse line. They said watch for symptoms. I spent the next 3 days obsessively monitoring him.
He was fine. Turns out Snickers are gluten-free (I didn't know that then).
What I learned:
- KNOW which common candies are GF before Halloween
- The "trade system" works better for older kids
- Have GF candy IN HIS BUCKET so he can eat while walking
- I need therapy for my anxiety (only half kidding)
Now I put GF candy in their bags before we even leave. Problem solved.
The Playdate Mortification (Year 3)
Dropped my daughter at a friend's house for a playdate. Reminded the mom about gluten-free. She said "I got it!"
Picked my daughter up 3 hours later. She'd eaten pizza.
Me: "Oh no, was it GF pizza?"
Friend's mom: "Yes! I ordered from that place you mentioned!"
Me (relieved): "Oh okay good."
My daughter in the car: "Mom, it tasted like regular pizza though."
My heart sank.
Called the mom. "Which pizza place did you order from?"
She named a place I'd NEVER mentioned. A place with no GF options.
Turns out: She'd confused me with another mom. Ordered regular pizza. Fed it to my celiac daughter.
What I learned:
- Write it down for them
- Actually CHECK the food when I pick up, not just trust
- Have my daughter old enough to advocate for herself
- Mistakes happen and freaking out doesn't help
That mom felt TERRIBLE. I felt terrible for making her feel terrible. My daughter was sick but forgave her friend.
Now I send a picture of safe foods with my daughter. And I trained her to ask "is this gluten-free?" before eating anything.
The Conference Call Incident (Year 3)
I was working from home. Important work call. Camera on.
My daughter came into my office crying because she'd accidentally eaten regular crackers at school.
What I did: Muted myself, dealt with her for "just a second," unmuted.
What I forgot: My camera was still on.
What everyone saw: Me frantically googling "how much gluten causes celiac reaction" while my daughter cried in the background.
My boss messaged me: "Everything okay?"
Had to explain the whole celiac thing to my entire team mid-meeting.
What I learned:
- Lock my door during important calls
- Tell my daughter she can interrupt for emergencies but also define "emergency"
- My coworkers are actually really understanding
- Sometimes work just has to wait
My team was cool about it. One person has celiac too and shared her story. Now they make sure all office snacks are labeled.
Still embarrassing though.
The "Helpful" Teacher (Year 4)
My son's teacher gave out donuts for someone's birthday.
She KNEW he was GF. She'd been told multiple times.
Gave him a donut anyway and said "just pick off the frosting."
What I did wrong: I emailed her. A long email. At 10pm. While angry.
Used words like "unacceptable" and "disappointed" and "could have put him at risk."
What happened: She forwarded my email to the principal. The principal called me for a meeting.
I looked like the crazy parent.
What I learned:
- Sleep on angry emails
- Call instead of email when emotions are high
- The teacher genuinely didn't understand - she needed education, not anger
- I probably burned a bridge I didn't need to burn
We smoothed it over. I apologized for the tone (not the content). She apologized for the donut. Set up a 504 plan after that.
The Vacation Disaster (Year 4)
Booked a beach vacation. Didn't research GF restaurant options ahead of time. Just thought "we'll figure it out!"
What happened: Literally two restaurants in the whole town had GF options. Both were fancy and expensive.
We ate at the same restaurant 4 times in one week because it was the only safe option.
My kids were DONE with that restaurant by day 3.
Spent $600 on restaurants when we could've stayed home and ordered takeout.
What I learned:
- Research FIRST
- Bring more food than you think you'll need
- AirBnB with a kitchen > hotel
- Vacations need as much meal planning as home
Now I research for like 2 weeks before any trip. Make a list of restaurants. Pack a cooler. Rent places with kitchens.
Vacations are actually relaxing now.
The "I'll Just Have What You're Having" Fail (Year 5)
My friend invited us to dinner. I told her we're GF.
She said "I'll make everything gluten-free!"
Showed up. She'd made GF pasta and salad.
The problem: She'd cooked the GF pasta in the same pot she'd made regular pasta in earlier. Without washing it.
Used the same cutting board for GF bread that she'd used for regular bread.
Basically everything was cross-contaminated.
What I did: Ate a little bit to be polite (I don't have celiac, just my kids). Told my kids they weren't hungry.
What I should have done: Just been honest.
What happened: My friend found out later from another friend that I'd lied. She was hurt I didn't trust her.
What I learned:
- Honesty is better than politeness when it comes to my kids' health
- Friends want to help but need specifics
- It's okay to educate people even if it's awkward
- Bring backup food always
We talked it out. Now when someone offers to cook, I either bring food or I send them detailed instructions. Most people appreciate it.
What All These Disasters Taught Me
You're going to screw up. I did. Multiple times. You will too.
Other people are going to screw up. Even people who mean well. Even people who know better.
Your kid will probably be fine. Most mistakes aren't fatal. They might be sick, but they recover.
Communication is everything. Over-communicate. Send pictures. Write lists. Assume nothing.
Give yourself grace. You're learning. So is everyone around you.
Advocate loudly but kindly. You can be firm without being mean (most of the time).
Have backup plans. Food in the car. Food in your purse. Food everywhere.
Let your kids advocate for themselves (when age-appropriate). My daughter can now say "I have celiac disease, I can't eat that" without me prompting.
Mistakes are learning opportunities. Every single one of these disasters taught me something.
The Less Embarrassing Moments (Because It's Not All Bad)
The time a restaurant comped our meal because they were so impressed with how my daughter politely asked about ingredients.
The time my son's friend brought GF cookies to a sleepover so he wouldn't feel left out.
The time a teacher spent her own money buying GF snacks for the classroom.
The time my daughter helped another newly diagnosed kid feel less alone.
The time my extended family made Thanksgiving completely GF so we didn't feel different.
For every embarrassing moment, there's been a beautiful one too.
Questions You Probably Have
Q: Did you actually cry in the Whole Foods parking lot? A: Yes. Twice. Once because they discontinued my daughter's favorite GF bread. Once because I spent $200 on groceries and half of it was GF substitutes.
Q: Do your kids hate you for sharing these stories? A: My daughter thinks this is hilarious. My son is too young to read. Check back in 10 years.
Q: What's your most recent embarrassing moment? A: Last week I sent my daughter to school with her lunch but forgot to actually PUT the lunch in her backpack. Just sent an empty lunchbox. She called me crying at lunchtime. Parent of the year right here.
Q: Does it get easier? A: Yes and no. You get better at it. But new situations create new opportunities for mistakes.
Q: What would you tell yourself 5 years ago? A: You're going to mess up and it's going to be okay. Your daughter is going to thrive. Stop reading scary blogs at 2am.
If You're New to This
If you're reading this and you're newly diagnosed, overwhelmed, and terrified you're going to screw everything up:
You are. Screw things up, I mean.
But it's okay.
Your kid is resilient. You'll learn. You'll get better.
You'll have embarrassing moments and learning moments and crying-in-parking-lot moments.
And then one day you'll realize you've been doing this for years and you mostly have your shit together.
(Mostly. Nobody has it completely together. Anyone who says they do is lying.)
You're going to be okay.
Your kid is going to be okay.
And maybe in 5 years you'll write your own list of embarrassing moments and someone else will read it and feel less alone.
That's what this is all about.
We're all just figuring it out together, one mortifying mistake at a time.
