Playdates stress you out when your kid has celiac disease? These 5 conversation scripts make it easy to keep your child safe without being 'that parent.'
Your child gets invited to a playdate. Your first thought isn't "Great!"—it's "How do I handle the food situation without being a pain?"
You don't want to be overprotective. You don't want other parents to think you're difficult. But you absolutely need to keep your child safe from gluten.
This guide gives you 5 word-for-word scripts that work. They're friendly, brief, and get the job done without making things weird.
Why Playdates Are Tricky
What Makes It Hard:
- Other parents don't understand celiac disease (think it's a preference)
- Kids want to be "normal" and not bring attention to themselves
- Snack time is built into every playdate
- Cross-contamination happens in other people's kitchens
- You're not there to monitor what your child eats
What Could Go Wrong:
- Host serves regular goldfish, kid eats them not knowing
- Kids share snacks ("just one bite!")
- Pizza party ordered last-minute
- Birthday cake surprise
- Host gets offended by your rules
The Balance You're Trying to Strike: Keep your child safe WITHOUT being seen as the demanding, helicopter parent.
"Clear, confident communication about celiac disease protects your child while building trust with other parents. Most parents want to help—they just don't know how." - Dr. Michelle Pietzak, Pediatric Gastroenterologist, USC
The 5 Scripts
Script 1: Initial RSVP (When Invitation Happens)
Use This When: Mom invites your child to playdate, either in person or via text
What to Say (in person):
"Thank you so much for inviting [child's name]! She'd love to come. Quick heads up—she has celiac disease, which means she can't eat gluten. It's a medical condition, not just a preference. I'll send her with her own snacks so you don't have to worry about it. Does that work for you?"
What to Say (via text):
"[Child's name] would love to come! Quick heads up: she has celiac disease (medical condition) and needs to avoid gluten. I'll send snacks so you don't need to worry about food. Thanks for including her!"
Why This Works:
- ✅ Shows appreciation first (starts positive)
- ✅ Uses "celiac disease" not "gluten allergy" (medical = serious)
- ✅ Clarifies it's NOT a preference
- ✅ Offers solution immediately (bring own snacks)
- ✅ Makes it easy for host (no burden)
What NOT to Say:
- ❌ "She can't eat anything with wheat or gluten." (Too vague, sounds fussy)
- ❌ "We're gluten-free." (Sounds like choice, not medical)
- ❌ "What are you planning to serve?" (Sounds demanding)
Script 2: Follow-Up Details (Before Playdate)
Use This When: Day or two before playdate, confirming plans
What to Say (text is fine):
"Looking forward to the playdate Saturday! Quick reminder: [child] has celiac, so I'm packing her safe snacks. Only thing I need from you—can you make sure the kids don't share food? [Child] knows not to eat other kids' snacks, but sometimes friends offer to share. If snack time happens, can you just remind everyone 'no sharing snacks today'? Appreciate you!"
Why This Works:
- ✅ Frames it as partnership ("I pack, you remind")
- ✅ Prevents kid from feeling singled out ("everyone no sharing")
- ✅ Gives host simple, specific action (easy to do)
- ✅ Ends with appreciation (keeps tone friendly)
What NOT to Say:
- ❌ "Please watch my child like a hawk." (Unreasonable ask)
- ❌ "Don't serve anything with gluten." (Burdens host)
- ❌ Long explanation of cross-contamination (TMI, overwhelming)
Script 3: Dropping Off Child (What to Say at Door)
Use This When: Dropping child off at playdate
What to Say:
"Thanks again for having [child]! Her snacks are in her bag—she knows to only eat those. She's great about not taking food from others, but if anyone offers to share, a quick 'everyone keeps their own snacks today' helps. My number's on the bag if anything comes up. Have fun, you guys!"
To Your Child (in front of host, reinforces rules):
"Remember, only your snacks from your bag. Nothing anyone else offers, even if it looks gluten-free, because we haven't checked the label. If you're not sure, call me. Have so much fun!"
Why This Works:
- ✅ Keeps it brief (not holding host hostage with information)
- ✅ Child hears rules again (in front of host = accountability)
- ✅ Offers phone number (safety valve)
- ✅ Ends cheerfully (sets positive tone)
Body Language Tips:
- Smile and be relaxed (if you're stressed, host gets stressed)
- Keep it casual (not a big dramatic deal)
- Hand over child confidently (shows you trust host)
Script 4: The Emergency Script (When Things Go Wrong)
Use This When: Host texts you that something happened—ordered pizza, brought out cake, your child is asking about food
What to Say (calm, solution-focused):
"No problem at all! Can you grab [child]'s snack bag? She's got her own [pizza/cake/treat] in there that's safe for her. She knows the drill—this happens all the time and she's used to it. Thank you so much for letting me know!"
OR If More Serious (child accidentally ate gluten):
"Thanks for calling. I'm going to come get [child] now. This isn't your fault at all—these things happen. I'll take it from here. Appreciate you reaching out right away."
Why This Works:
- ✅ No blame or guilt (host didn't do this on purpose)
- ✅ Provides immediate solution (reduces host's stress)
- ✅ Normalizes it for child ("happens all the time")
- ✅ Takes ownership (you handle it, not host's problem)
What NOT to Say:
- ❌ "How did this happen?!" (Accusatory)
- ❌ "I told you she can't have gluten!" (Makes host feel terrible)
- ❌ Detailed medical explanation of what happens next (TMI)
Script 5: The Thank You (After Playdate)
Use This When: After playdate, thanking host
What to Say (text works):
"Thank you so much for having [child] today! She had a blast. I really appreciate you helping keep her safe with the food situation—it makes such a difference when other parents 'get it.' Hope we can return the favor soon!"
If Things Went Perfectly:
"You made managing the celiac thing so easy! [Child] said you reminded everyone about not sharing snacks and it was no big deal at all. Thank you for taking it seriously—lots of parents don't understand how important it is. We'd love to have [host's child] over next time!"
Why This Works:
- ✅ Specific appreciation (tells them what they did right)
- ✅ Reinforces they handled it well (encourages future invites)
- ✅ Offers reciprocity (keeps relationship balanced)
- ✅ Educates gently (they'll remember next time)
What NOT to Say:
- ❌ "I was so worried the whole time." (Makes them never want to do it again)
- ❌ Only thank if things went well—silence if they messed up (passive aggressive)
What to Pack in the Playdate Bag
The Essentials:
- 3-4 snacks (more than you think they'll need)
- Safe drink (juice box or water bottle)
- Treat that matches what other kids might have (cupcake, cookies)
- Napkin and hand wipes
- Emergency contact card
Sample Playdate Bag:
- Gluten-free crackers (individual pack)
- Cheese stick (no refrigeration needed 2-3 hours)
- Fruit pouch or applesauce
- Gluten-free granola bar
- Safe "treat" (cupcake if birthday expected, cookies otherwise)
- Small bottle of water
- Card: "Name, Parent Phone, Has Celiac—Cannot Eat Gluten"
Pro Tips:
- Use clear ziplock bag (host can see what's inside)
- Label everything with child's name
- Include wet wipes (hand washing before eating)
- Pack duplicates of treats (can share with host's kid—builds goodwill)
Handling Common Playdate Situations
Situation 1: Last-Minute Pizza Order
What Happens: Host orders pizza without telling you first. Your kid is there.
What Host Should Do: Call you immediately.
What You Say: "No worries! [Child] has gluten-free option in her bag—there should be a mini GF pizza in there. Can you heat it up for 2 minutes? She's totally used to this."
Prevention: Always pack backup meal option, not just snacks.
Situation 2: Baking Activity
What Happens: Kids doing cookie-baking craft. Regular flour everywhere.
What Host Should Do: Give you heads-up before playdate.
What You Say: "[Child] can't participate in baking with regular flour—cross-contamination issue. But she'd love to help decorate pre-made GF cookies if you're open to that? I can send them with her?"
Alternative: "[Child] can do another craft while they bake—she's used to sitting stuff out. No hurt feelings!"
Situation 3: Birthday Cake Surprise
What Happens: Turns out playdate is actually birthday party. Cake appears.
What Host Should Do: Text you before cutting cake.
What You Do: Keep GF cupcake in your car. Drive it over fast. OR pack one in child's bag always.
What Child Says: "I have my own special cupcake! It's really good!" (No moping, no drama)
Situation 4: Other Kid Offers to Share
What Happens: Friend offers half their sandwich or some goldfish.
What Child Should Say: "No thanks! I have celiac disease and can't eat gluten. I brought my own snacks though—want to trade? I have [safe snack]."
What Host Should Do: Gently redirect: "Let's not share snacks today, everyone eat your own."
Situation 5: Host Gets Offended
What Happens: Host thinks you don't trust their cooking or are being difficult.
What You Say:
"I totally trust you! This isn't about your cooking at all. Celiac is SO specific—even crumbs from a cutting board that touched regular bread can make her sick. It's easier for everyone if she just brings her stuff. But I'd love to have your daughter over anytime—I've got the GF cooking down!"
Why This Works:
- Not about them, it's about the disease
- Offers to host instead (shows you're not just taking)
- Keeps relationship positive
Teaching Your Child to Self-Advocate
Scripts for Kids (age-appropriate):
Ages 4-6: "I can't eat that. I brought my own snack."
Ages 7-10: "I have celiac disease, so I can only eat food my mom packs. But thanks for offering!"
Ages 11+: "I appreciate you thinking of me, but I have celiac and need to be really careful about gluten. I've got my own snacks though!"
Role-Play at Home:
- Practice friend offering snack
- Practice host asking "Are you sure you can't have this?"
- Practice what to do if they accidentally eat something
What to Do If Your Child Gets Glutened at Playdate
Immediate Steps:
- Stay calm (host already feels terrible)
- Pick up child
- Thank host for calling (not their fault)
- Treat symptoms at home (rest, hydration, comfort)
Follow-Up:
- Text host next day: "[Child] is feeling better. Not your fault—these things happen! Still friends?"
- Don't avoid that family forever (teaches your child shame)
- Debrief with child: What happened? What can we do differently?
Learning Opportunity: Use it to teach child more self-advocacy. Not punishment, but "how do we handle this better next time?"
When to Just Say No
Red Flags That Mean Skip the Playdate:
- Host dismisses celiac disease as "not a big deal"
- Host says "a little won't hurt"
- Host is annoyed by your precautions
- Previous playdate had issues and host didn't learn
- Your gut says it's not safe
How to Decline Politely:
"Thank you so much for the invite! It sounds like there's going to be a lot of food/baking/cake involved, which makes things tricky with [child]'s celiac. How about we do a park playdate instead? That way food isn't part of it and everyone can just have fun!"
OR:
"I think this one might be tough with the food situation. But we'd love to have [their child] over to our house soon—I've got all the GF stuff handled here!"
FAQ
What if the host wants to make gluten-free food for my child?
Appreciate the offer but politely decline unless you REALLY trust them. Too many variables. Say: "That's so sweet! But honestly, it's easier if she brings her own. Cross-contamination is tricky and I don't want to burden you with label-reading."
Should I offer to stay at the playdate?
Only if your child is very young (under 6) or newly diagnosed and not confident yet. Otherwise, let them go. Builds independence.
What if my child begs to "just try one bite"?
Hold firm. Say: "I know it's hard. But celiac means zero gluten, not 'a little.' You can have your special treat when you get home." Then actually give them something special.
How do I handle sleepovers?
Sleepovers are advanced-level. Wait until child is confident self-advocating (usually age 9+). Pack ALL meals and snacks. Call host the night before to review plan.
What if other parents think I'm paranoid?
Their opinion doesn't matter. Your child's health does. People who matter will understand. People who don't aren't your people.
My child feels left out. What do I do?
Validate feelings: "I know it's hard being different." Then empower: "But you're really good at taking care of yourself. That's a superpower." Find celiac support groups where they meet other GF kids.
Action Plan
✅ Save these scripts in your phone notes (easy reference)
✅ Practice with your child - role-play different scenarios
✅ Prep a standard playdate bag - have it ready to go
✅ Try a playdate with a close friend first (low stakes practice)
✅ Debrief after - what worked? What would you change?
The Bottom Line
Playdates don't have to be stressful. With clear communication and good preparation, your child can have fun while staying safe.
These 5 scripts handle 90% of situations. They're:
- Friendly (not demanding)
- Brief (not overwhelming)
- Clear (no ambiguity)
- Solution-focused (make it easy for host)
Most parents WANT to help—they just don't know how. These scripts show them exactly what to do.
Your child deserves friendships and fun. Celiac disease doesn't have to get in the way.
Note: Every child and situation is different. Trust your instincts about what's safe. You know your child best.
